Living Through Character Assassination from a Parent

It seems harsh, and almost unbelievable, but in many cases, parents hold the cards for assassinating the characters of their children. The damages can be life threatening, traumatizing, and the reputation of an adult child can be destroyed by parental bias. The first step to overcoming the pains experienced from adult abuse from a parent is understanding why your parent feels it was right to do what they did.

One parent told her daughter's children that
 their mother tried to poison her.

Step 1: Understand Why

Why did they feel it was right to abuse you?

Reputational abuse is difficult to understand. For a parent, nurturing and helping their child develop earns that child’s respect and honor. Likewise, a parent feels confirmed when they see the traits they believe are appropriate in their child. When they feel they have failed, they often try to eradicate the feeling by intervening in their child’s life. This becomes an issue when applied to adult children, who have chosen or developed ideals different from their parent’s.

It hurts to think that someone you love and trust
was part of ruining your reputation.

Step 2: Let it Burn

Don’t ignore the pain, feel it and explore the feeling.

Finding out that your parent caused you reputational damage can be devastating. It can shake the very threshold of who a person is, even more, it can damage a person’s self-concept. What character traits a person believes are reflected in their actions and behaviors may differ from how their parent(s) may perceive them. Adult children often deny these facts because they want to believe their parents have their best interests at heart, but there are those who cannot accept beliefs that differ from their own.

Step 3: Tell the Truth

Accepting that your parent was involved in making you look bad in front of people you care about is hard, but you have to do it.

Some parents find it hard to accept their child's choice in love.

Adults will look past the obvious if they have high regard for their parents. It is very difficult when a child’s heroic image of their parent is ruined by their finding out that their parent was the antagonist in their story, or that they were a party to the antagonist. Telling yourself the truth will help you rebuild your reputation based on the truth.